told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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