I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
