No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
