I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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