You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
