The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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