my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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