lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
