I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
