you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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