so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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