maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
