So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
