Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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