This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
