No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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