just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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