You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
