shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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