You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
