sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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