you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
