Sponge bath it is.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
