Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
