My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I will die if light touches me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
