i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
