These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
