Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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