apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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