I looked at my own cervix.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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