You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
