sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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