u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I did not marry a roomba.
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