I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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