I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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