I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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