Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
