whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize