drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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