i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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