then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
