i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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