You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
