I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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