Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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