yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
