Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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