I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
