She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she told me i tasted like america
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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