would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
