I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
