i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
