i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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