very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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