thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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