Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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