guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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