So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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