wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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