On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
