so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
