My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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