the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize