if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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