as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
