First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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