He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize