Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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